If you take a quick look at leadership and business courses, you will find a host of workshops on becoming an excellent speaker. But you don’t see too many on training you to be an effective listener.

“I’ll work on scheduling the meeting with Jim.”
“So, will you get a meeting with Jim?”
“I just said I would.”

Someone is not listening. You have probably seen some variation of miscommunication occur in the past. Studies show that when we get asked to recall discussions, we retain approximately 10% of what was said.

So, what’s our mind doing while we are not listening? Simple, we formulate our answers before the person in front of us has even completed finishing a sentence. We also think about what to cook for dinner. And we figure out ways to look at our watch casually. In short, we don’t listen.

Why does this happen? There are countless reasons why this occurs. Sometimes, our judgments and assumptions consume our thinking. We may be bored with the discussion. We may be more interested in thinking about an upcoming event. The speaker may be rattling on without focus.

In business and life, not listening happens. But, it should not be a habit. Leaders need to have keen listening skills to surface potential challenges, motivate and inspire their teams and keep lines of communication open and working.


listeningHow can you become an active and effective listener in business?

One of the first things to do is be mindful of your body language. Maintain direct eye contact, take notes if it helps and be aware of the image you are presenting with your body language. By showing openness, you provide the speaker with subtle clues that you are engaged and participating. Be careful not to cross your arms or spend time eyeing your cell phone.

Don’t interrupt or finish someone’s sentences. Make it a point to relax, pay attention, listen, and formulate your response to lead the speaker to the information you seek based on what’s said. You are not trying to shortcut the discussion by interrupting or fast-forwarding things by finishing sentences if you are actively listening.

As leaders, we often look for information, and time is money in the business environment. However, to get the best information available, people need to feel that you value what they are saying to you. So, ask questions. When someone makes a statement, ask questions that help you delve deeper into an issue. And, if you are speaking with a direct report about a process, take the time to ask them what they would suggest improving. If they are doing the job, more than likely, they know how to do it better.

Although I have several companies, I still consider myself a salesman. And, to me, it’s essential to get to the “no.” Engage in questions that result in someone telling you why they can’t do something. By actively listening, you want to be able to uncover the objections or challenges people may have that prevent them from doing something. A good technique is to ask hypothetical questions that provide the road map for how things could happen. You can also ask “if/then” questions that help move someone closer to the desired outcome. You can accomplish anything if obstacles get removed.

Hearing Disagreement

One of the most challenging but essential things to do is to hear things on which we disagree. If you are someone who interrupts or immediately looks to debate a topic, focus on actively listening and not saying anything. Listen carefully to someone’s position and then reply in a calm and non-confrontational manner only after you have had a moment to process. In the end, you may not agree, but the speaker will appreciate you more for having heard and listened to them concerning their position.

People want to get heard, but more importantly, they want to be listened to. By modeling this behavior, you will go a long way toward being a better leader and fostering a business culture that engages in active listening to help improve all aspects of the business.

 

 

© 2015 Wayne Elsey and Not Your Father’s Charity. All Rights Reserved.